There are two significant details regarding the end of my story about overcoming career setbacks.
First, the hiring manager that rejected me for the job told me during our followup meeting after the interview process that she was leaving her position to take another job. She'd be leaving just after the start date for the position for which she had just rejected me. The person that did get the job would be taking the position essentially without a manager until a new one was hired.
Second, about 6 months after being rejected for the job I learned that the person that was hired upped and walked out one day. It's not often that you hear about people quitting their job these days in this economy. While I don't know the exact reasons why this person left so abruptly after such a short time, it's not hard to imagine that a lack of a manager played into it and that working conditions were not optimal.
Knowing those two things, I can comfortably say that it ended up being a good thing that I didn't get hired and that a better job that is more right for me is waiting out there. Maybe, just maybe, that hiring manager did me a favor by not hiring me. And maybe, just maybe, the people consoling me saying that things happen for a reason were right!
Showing posts with label Failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Failure. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Overcoming Career Setbacks
Unless you are extraordinarily lucky, there's a pretty good chance that at some point in your career you're going to be confronted with some type of setback or adversity. You might get laid off. You may get passed over for a promotion or denied the chance to work on a project. Thinking now about how you'll deal with it in advance of it actually happening will help tenfold as you try to recover from the setback and move on.
Here's my example:
I was mingling at the company holiday party with a department head who asked me what my career plans were and if I would be interested in learning more about her department. I had actually identified her department as a potential landing spot for me in my next career move so I was thrilled to learn that she was thinking of me as well. Over the next couple of weeks I played all of my cards perfectly by the book.
I set up a meeting with her to chat about me, her department and an opening she had. I did my due diligence into her department by speaking with a friend who had recently worked for her. I prepared for each encounter I would have making sure I knew my key talking points. I was more than ready to present my skills and how I felt I was right for her department and equally ready to hear why she thought of me and what she had to say about being a member of her team.
During our meeting I did have one reservation because of a weakness in my skill set that would create a larger learning curve than she may want. It really wasn't a weakness so much as a lack of experience in certain skills that other candidates may have. If this was going to be an issue for her I wouldn't bother applying but she assured me that indeed it was nothing to worry about. Over time, we both agreed, I would have no trouble making up for this deficiency. She said she likes to diversify her team and she saw obvious strengths in me that would compliment her current team members thus compensating for any short term weaknesses. We had a great initial conversation, found a match between my interests and skills and her needs and she encouraged me to apply because she thought I'd make a great candidate. So of course I did.
I ended up as one of 3 finalists. I knew I had nailed the interviews (all 7 of them...yes 7 interviews with a total of 10 different people!) including a training session I was asked to develop and present. The job was perfect for me and I was perfect for it. While I was waiting to hear back about whether I got the job, the few friends and family I had told about it were assuring me that I'd get it. One went so far as remind me that the hiring manager came to me about the opening. You don't get turned down for jobs when they come to you, it just doesn't happen.
When I finally heard back, I didn't get the job. The hiring manager indicated that I was her second choice and that she ended up hiring a person who was stronger than I was in the one area of weakness in my skill set, the one she had assured me wouldn't be a problem. I was crushed and frankly felt a little bit betrayed. She had come to me about the job, encouraged me to apply, indicated a weakness in my current skill set wasn't a problem and then rejected me on the basis of that very weakness. I hadn't felt the bottom of my professional life drop out this fast and this furious before. The same friends and family that were days before assuring me I was a shoe in were now looking at the bright side trying to cheer me up and I wanted no part of it.
Was it OK for me to wallow in misery for a while? Heck yeah it was! No one likes set backs and no one should be asked to overcome them with grace, ease and expediency. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't get over them eventually and have a plan to do so. If you allow yourself to hide inside your own pity party too long you risk putting yourself too far behind thus making your recovery from the setback that much harder.
To help you out here are some things to think about so that you'll be prepared when the time comes:
Go ahead and feel the disappointment. It's a natural reaction. Remember what it feels like to have wanted the job or the promotion you didn't get and then catalogue the feelings of disappointment and rejection. Remember them when great things start happening to you again so that you can maintain the proper perspective. Recalling the depths of your failure during times of great triumph make your successes all the sweeter. It might also help to set a timeline for your disappointment so that in a week or two weeks you can tell yourself it is time to start moving on. After all, you don't want to get carried away.
Don't hold it against the people trying to show you the bright side. They are just trying to help. I know it is frustrating to hear positive thoughts when you feel so lousy. And you know what? They are usually right. So listen and remember what they are saying because as time passes you'll realize that things do happen for a reason, when doors close other will open, and it will get better. Thank them for caring because you are lucky to have people in your life thoughtful enough to want to pick you up when you are down. Let them know that you know they are right and that you are sure in a short time you'll be right back on your feet.
Learn from this experience. My current manager suggested that after I felt better about being rejected for that job I should ask the hiring manager to sit down for a chat so I could ask about the process and learn why I wasn't hired, what I did well and what I should work on. Eventually, I did this. While it wasn't easy, it definitely was helpful. I did, however, wait a few weeks before approaching the hiring manager to make sure I was in the right state of mind. I ended up explaining how disappointed I was after being approached about the job, encouraged to apply, assured that my weakness wouldn't be a problem, and then rejected because of that very same weakness. She completely understood and we had a great chat. The conversation turned the negative into a positive. While you don't always have this kind of access to a hiring manager or boss who has just turned you down you might be surprised at a person's willingness to talk with you if you give it a try. My current manager does a lot of interviewing and told me that she wishes more interviewees would call to chat after the fact because she'd be glad to help them. So try following up so you can learn why this setback has happened. Then you can make sure it doesn't happen again.
Here's my example:
I was mingling at the company holiday party with a department head who asked me what my career plans were and if I would be interested in learning more about her department. I had actually identified her department as a potential landing spot for me in my next career move so I was thrilled to learn that she was thinking of me as well. Over the next couple of weeks I played all of my cards perfectly by the book.
I set up a meeting with her to chat about me, her department and an opening she had. I did my due diligence into her department by speaking with a friend who had recently worked for her. I prepared for each encounter I would have making sure I knew my key talking points. I was more than ready to present my skills and how I felt I was right for her department and equally ready to hear why she thought of me and what she had to say about being a member of her team.
During our meeting I did have one reservation because of a weakness in my skill set that would create a larger learning curve than she may want. It really wasn't a weakness so much as a lack of experience in certain skills that other candidates may have. If this was going to be an issue for her I wouldn't bother applying but she assured me that indeed it was nothing to worry about. Over time, we both agreed, I would have no trouble making up for this deficiency. She said she likes to diversify her team and she saw obvious strengths in me that would compliment her current team members thus compensating for any short term weaknesses. We had a great initial conversation, found a match between my interests and skills and her needs and she encouraged me to apply because she thought I'd make a great candidate. So of course I did.
I ended up as one of 3 finalists. I knew I had nailed the interviews (all 7 of them...yes 7 interviews with a total of 10 different people!) including a training session I was asked to develop and present. The job was perfect for me and I was perfect for it. While I was waiting to hear back about whether I got the job, the few friends and family I had told about it were assuring me that I'd get it. One went so far as remind me that the hiring manager came to me about the opening. You don't get turned down for jobs when they come to you, it just doesn't happen.
When I finally heard back, I didn't get the job. The hiring manager indicated that I was her second choice and that she ended up hiring a person who was stronger than I was in the one area of weakness in my skill set, the one she had assured me wouldn't be a problem. I was crushed and frankly felt a little bit betrayed. She had come to me about the job, encouraged me to apply, indicated a weakness in my current skill set wasn't a problem and then rejected me on the basis of that very weakness. I hadn't felt the bottom of my professional life drop out this fast and this furious before. The same friends and family that were days before assuring me I was a shoe in were now looking at the bright side trying to cheer me up and I wanted no part of it.
Was it OK for me to wallow in misery for a while? Heck yeah it was! No one likes set backs and no one should be asked to overcome them with grace, ease and expediency. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't get over them eventually and have a plan to do so. If you allow yourself to hide inside your own pity party too long you risk putting yourself too far behind thus making your recovery from the setback that much harder.
To help you out here are some things to think about so that you'll be prepared when the time comes:
Go ahead and feel the disappointment. It's a natural reaction. Remember what it feels like to have wanted the job or the promotion you didn't get and then catalogue the feelings of disappointment and rejection. Remember them when great things start happening to you again so that you can maintain the proper perspective. Recalling the depths of your failure during times of great triumph make your successes all the sweeter. It might also help to set a timeline for your disappointment so that in a week or two weeks you can tell yourself it is time to start moving on. After all, you don't want to get carried away.
Don't hold it against the people trying to show you the bright side. They are just trying to help. I know it is frustrating to hear positive thoughts when you feel so lousy. And you know what? They are usually right. So listen and remember what they are saying because as time passes you'll realize that things do happen for a reason, when doors close other will open, and it will get better. Thank them for caring because you are lucky to have people in your life thoughtful enough to want to pick you up when you are down. Let them know that you know they are right and that you are sure in a short time you'll be right back on your feet.
Learn from this experience. My current manager suggested that after I felt better about being rejected for that job I should ask the hiring manager to sit down for a chat so I could ask about the process and learn why I wasn't hired, what I did well and what I should work on. Eventually, I did this. While it wasn't easy, it definitely was helpful. I did, however, wait a few weeks before approaching the hiring manager to make sure I was in the right state of mind. I ended up explaining how disappointed I was after being approached about the job, encouraged to apply, assured that my weakness wouldn't be a problem, and then rejected because of that very same weakness. She completely understood and we had a great chat. The conversation turned the negative into a positive. While you don't always have this kind of access to a hiring manager or boss who has just turned you down you might be surprised at a person's willingness to talk with you if you give it a try. My current manager does a lot of interviewing and told me that she wishes more interviewees would call to chat after the fact because she'd be glad to help them. So try following up so you can learn why this setback has happened. Then you can make sure it doesn't happen again.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Failure and Risk
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
I've enjoyed contemplating failure and risk over the last 48 hours. Not my favorite subjects for sure. But they happen to fit nicely into my life right now so why not reflect on them to really understand their influence on what we do. Life certainly would be a lot easier if we never had to take risks or risk failure. With one comes the possibility of the other but to not risk is to never succeed. So really what choice do we have right?
I'd love to hear from you regarding failure and risk. Maybe I will drum up a tale or two from my past where I've taken risks. Have you taken recent risks? Was it hard to do? Did you not take a risk because you were afraid of failing? Is anyone out there contemplating a career risk right now?
It's easy to focus on the failure part of the equation isn't it? I've been doing it for two days now. But guess what...you might actually succeed (GASP! BLASPHEMY!)...In fact, you probably will. A lot of the fear we have is actually fear of the unknown outcome more than it is fear of the actual repercussions of the failure itself. The failure probably won't be that bad anyway. What, you don't get the job? The client chooses another company? The lime green in the kitchen looks terrible and you have to paint over it? So why not? Take the risk. Embrace it. Live it. In the end, as the few quotes I've posted suggest along with the thousands out there I haven't posted, you'll be a better person for it regardless of your success or failure.
Woody Allen
I've enjoyed contemplating failure and risk over the last 48 hours. Not my favorite subjects for sure. But they happen to fit nicely into my life right now so why not reflect on them to really understand their influence on what we do. Life certainly would be a lot easier if we never had to take risks or risk failure. With one comes the possibility of the other but to not risk is to never succeed. So really what choice do we have right?
I'd love to hear from you regarding failure and risk. Maybe I will drum up a tale or two from my past where I've taken risks. Have you taken recent risks? Was it hard to do? Did you not take a risk because you were afraid of failing? Is anyone out there contemplating a career risk right now?
It's easy to focus on the failure part of the equation isn't it? I've been doing it for two days now. But guess what...you might actually succeed (GASP! BLASPHEMY!)...In fact, you probably will. A lot of the fear we have is actually fear of the unknown outcome more than it is fear of the actual repercussions of the failure itself. The failure probably won't be that bad anyway. What, you don't get the job? The client chooses another company? The lime green in the kitchen looks terrible and you have to paint over it? So why not? Take the risk. Embrace it. Live it. In the end, as the few quotes I've posted suggest along with the thousands out there I haven't posted, you'll be a better person for it regardless of your success or failure.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Yesterday Failure...Today Risk
Felt like I should follow up yesterday's thoughts on Failure with some on Risk. Their link is undeniable: Being afraid of one will certainly prevent you from ever reaping the rewards of the other.
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
Muhammad Ali
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.
Leo F. Buscaglia
Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.
Ray Bradbury
The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.
Goethe
Every day, you'll have opportunities to take chances and to work outside your safety net. Sure, it's a lot easier to stay in your comfort zone...in my case, business suits and real estate...but sometimes you have to take risks. When the risks pay off, that's when you reap the biggest rewards.
Donald Trump
(Posting this one for @advantagrelo)
Risk -- If one has to jump a stream and knows how wide it is, he will not jump. If he doesn't know how wide it is, he'll jump and six times out of ten he'll make it.
Proverb
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
Muhammad Ali
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.
Leo F. Buscaglia
Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.
Ray Bradbury
The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.
Goethe
Every day, you'll have opportunities to take chances and to work outside your safety net. Sure, it's a lot easier to stay in your comfort zone...in my case, business suits and real estate...but sometimes you have to take risks. When the risks pay off, that's when you reap the biggest rewards.
Donald Trump
(Posting this one for @advantagrelo)
Risk -- If one has to jump a stream and knows how wide it is, he will not jump. If he doesn't know how wide it is, he'll jump and six times out of ten he'll make it.
Proverb
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Failure
Today's a good day to reflect on failure. It's Wednesday. Half the week is behind us and half is ahead. It's what we're going to do inbetween that matters.
Here are some quotes:
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
Wayne Gretzky
“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” Colin Powell
“I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong” Benjamin Franklin
“Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.” Chinese Proverbs
"You never make a putt by leaving it short"
My friend Rob says this to me on the golf course.
Here are some quotes:
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
Wayne Gretzky
“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” Colin Powell
“I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong” Benjamin Franklin
“Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.” Chinese Proverbs
"You never make a putt by leaving it short"
My friend Rob says this to me on the golf course.
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